Jamaican Kids Say The Darndest Things


~ When ya gonna take off your colour?
~ I can’t take it off.
~ But you’re in Jamaica now!

Girl: You got a real good shape and your hips sway real good when you is walking.
Me: Ummm, okay, thanks.

I have someting real important to tell ya: mermaids is real. I sawed it with me eyes, on the computer. But me don’t tink they are in Jamaica, or maybe they just real good at hiding when me go to the beach.

* So, ya live in a mansion full of computers in America?
~ Nope.
* Your mother and father do?
~ Nope.
* Ya know someone that has a mansion?
~ Nope.
* (Looking very sceptical) Is ya even from America?
~ Nope.
* Ohhh. Well, in America all de people have mansions full of computers, so dat’s where I’m going. You a come my mansion and use one computer if ya want.

Boy: Miss, he keeps licking me!
Me: That’s gross, why is he licking you?
Boy: Not with his tongue, Miss.
Me: What! Then what is he licking you with??
Boy: His hand, Miss. Like this. (Slaps other boy.)
Other boy: Miss, he keeps licking me!

* Miss, you will be our teacher every day?
~ No, just today…
* You’re too busy?
~ Well, yes, and also you already have a teacher, she’s just sick today.
* She can be sick forever?


2 thoughts on “Jamaican Kids Say The Darndest Things

  1. I don’t have a mansion, but I have an apartment with two computers (although only one really works). America is full if computers, not so much the mansion part.

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